I know exactly how you feel T. When I told my H the other week that I will agree to the D after all it was b/c I suddenly thought 'this man does not deserve me and I deserve better'.
I'm currently confused about whether I will continue to stand after the D and this is partly b/c unlike some I have seem to have lost my faith throughout all of this. Clarity will come but it isn't there yet.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15