If your H ever gets his act together and wants to come back home to you and your children, he had better treat you like a queen because you sooooo deserve it, my dear! And you make sure he knows that, ok? Promise me!
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
Wow GF - sorry to see the turn of events in your sitch. I sure hope SOMETHING works to cause your H to wake up.
Tower Park eh? In the Delta near Sac? That's pretty close to me if that's the one you mean. Hope you have fun. I love that area!
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
You all are so wonderful ! (((((((Thanks so much, Nik and Jeff)))))))
Originally Posted By: NikB
I sure hope SOMETHING works to cause your H to wake up.
That sure would be nice!
I honestly feel as though I've tried everything, and even after going as far as I have with talking to H about how I shouldn't be the only one in this M making changes for the better, I still don't think he really understands. That's really too bad.
I feel very numb again....just like in the beginning. So I'm just going to continue doing my thing. While being the best mom and homemaker that I can be, I will not try to talk to H about spending time together anymore. He can do his own thing, and I will do mine. I will completely drop the rope again, I will be cordial with him, and I will see if anything changes in him over the next couple weeks. If there isn't the slightest bit of progress, I will continue with the D next month. I don't see any other alternative. I refuse to be in a R, let alone my M, with someone who doesn't care about my needs.
And if this does end in D, then at least I DO know that I tried, and I also know that should I ever get into another R, I will be properly equipped with the right R tools this time around - honesty, communication, and compromise.
Quote:
Tower Park eh? In the Delta near Sac?
Yep, that's the place! Unfortunately, I won't be going there after all (the boys are still going with my parents though). I'll be GAL in a different way this weekend! My stepdad asked me if I would be willing to help out with his brother's antibiotics treatment (through an IV) which is to start this weekend. A nurse from one of the local hospitals is to meet me at his brother's house on Saturday to show me how to flush and administer the meds through his IV. Then on Sunday, the nurse will be there again but only to watch me do the procedure, making sure I do it properly.
Should be kind of interesting. I just hope I don't see blood! I can handle seeing it in the movies, but up close and if it doesn't belong to me or my babies.... ! Nah, I'll be alright!
So now I'll have to plan something else to do over the weekend (the procedure for my stepdad's brother will only be for 2 hours during the day). H will be working, so I think that's kind of good. It'll help me with detaching even more.
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
Well, sounds like you have an interesting weekend planned. I'm impressed that you can do something like that! Plus a little break from the kids is always nice - you can do something totally for yourself.
And you're right, you have tried. And you are a wonderful person.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Well I don't know if I CAN do something like this , but they needed a family member to help out, my stepdad asked me if I would be willing to, so why not?! I'll give it a try!
And who knows? If it interests me enough, I might look into nursing. Gotta start thinking about what I want to be when I grow up, right? Being a SAHM is what I love, but it won't put food on the table after D.
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
On another note, H seems to think I'm mad at him whenever he sees me on the computer now. This has come about ever since he learned of the site. I tell him no, I'm not mad at him for anything. Tonight I asked him why did he think that, and he just shook his head, looked away, and said he didn't know.....Hmmm.....The other night he said something like, "So you go online and talk to strangers about me? Nice." Ok, whatever.
This evening, he also asked me what my plans were for the weekend. I told him besides working that I had the appt for training with the nurse on Saturday, then on Sunday, I would be doing the actual procedure with the nurse watching. He asked if I could get someone else to cover it, and I told him that I couldn't. It was too late. I asked him why, and for just a split second I thought, "Is he going to ask me to do something with him this weekend?", but then I knew that wasn't likely since he has to work this weekend, too.
Of course, I was right. He said he asked because he thought I should be out camping with the kids. He said I should go with them on Friday then come back on Saturday in time for my appt. I said that would probably be nice, but I didn't feel like going out there for just overnight. Having to be back sometime in the morning would suck. H said, "Well everytime you make plans to hang out with your sisters or whoever on a Friday or Saturday night, you always come back late that same night. What would be the difference now?" I said I guess there really wasn't a difference.
It started to feel as though H was pushing for me to not be around tomorrow night, so I asked him why was he pressing this issue. Again, he said he just felt like one of us should be there with them. I told him, "Well if you can find someone to cover your shifts, you're more than welcome to go out there yourself and join my family." He said he couldn't get anyone to cover for him, and I said neither could I. I told him I have responsibilities this weekend just like he does. He said he knew that, and then he said he just felt like it should be him out there camping with the boys.
I reminded him that he told me not too long ago that he's got some vacation time he needs to cash in on, so maybe he ought to plan a camping trip or whatever. Something for him and the boys to go do together. He said yeah and looked a little sad.
Then he said, "Isn't it important to you to want to be out there with the kids?" I answered, "Yes, it is important to me to spend time with them, but I also believe that it's easier for me than it is for you to let them go off with family for awhile. In the same way you spend hours and hours at work, I spend hours and hours with the kids. You need a break from work. I need a break from the boys. That doesn't mean I don't love them or that I don't care or worry about them. I just need a well-deserved break or two every now and then. It helps to keep me sane."
Couldn't really tell, but it seemed like he was a bit disappointed. He just said, "Alright," then went to bed.
Hmm, I don't know. I still feel like he was maybe hoping I'd be away for the weekend. Doesn't really make too much sense though because he's going to be working all weekend himself, although he will be off Friday and Saturday nights. Hmm...oh well!
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
GF - aw too bad about Tower Park although I bet the boys have fun. I really like that place and it should be a gorgeous weekend.
Your alternative plans sound pretty interesting, though! Hope that goes well. You're a brave woman.
Sorry about those anxieties - I hate those awkward conversations where you feel like there's some kind of "other" motivation but you're not sure what. Like ACJ said try not to worry about it - until you know actual facts, all it does is stress ya out.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
(((((((Hugs)))))))
! (((((((Thanks so much, Nik and Jeff)))))))
I just hope I don't see blood! I can handle seeing it in the movies, but up close and if it doesn't belong to me or my babies.... 
Being a SAHM is what I love, but it won't put food on the table after D.