I really think you're right on the "touching her" thing. And yeah, they quit talking for awhile, picked it back up again, quit for awhile. Never for very long. I snooped enough to see that they call each other things like "the bestest BFF ever" (ewwww). This was around the time she sent him the pic of them skiing. The other EA that he had was more of a flirtatious thing - I think he either dated or considered dating her while we were separated.
GF Thanks so much. There is a LOT more history with this particular EA (what? you didn't go read all 200 of my threads? ) . At times in the past he's admitted having "feelings" for her but he's all proud he never acted on them. During one fight (in the early angry/yelling/crying days) he said "I've never even kissed her!" He does KNOW he let the friendship go too far - his theory is "If I already knew her before I met you, you'd be fine with me having her as a friend." Um actually.. I probably never would have kept dating him with this freaky woman around all the time. But anyway.. that's his theory.
Some examples.. he spent our 5th anniversary night having dinner AT HER HOUSE instead of with me. Yeah that's appropriate. He made some excuse about her roommate being a good cook. Whatever. The bomb dropped the next day when I was pissed and confronted him on this.
During the time I was actually attempting to be friends with her it was nuts. She came over to watch a movie one time (how cozy right - H, me, and her all on the couch under a blanket... OMG how did I let myself be so stupid???). Anyway.. they literally started a pillow fight OVER THE TOP OF ME. Smacking each other with pillows and laughing, while I was literally sitting between them and they ignored me.
And we went out dancing once while I was still in a wheelchair with my broken leg. He was basically "dirty dancing" with her - RIGHT in front of me. Some guy at the club was talking to me a bit and said "Um that's your husband?" I said "Yeah why?" and he said "Wow... soap opera at your house, eh?" Seriously..random stranger at a bar could see it when I couldn't.
I do really hope he'll agree to MC. I just don't think he's ever going to understand from my perspective directly why it hurts me so much. The good news is, he's gone before, and there's a local MC that he REALLY likes so... there's some hope.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
) . At times in the past he's admitted having "feelings" for her but he's all proud he never acted on them. During one fight (in the early angry/yelling/crying days) he said "I've never even kissed her!" He does KNOW he let the friendship go too far - his theory is "If I already knew her before I met you, you'd be fine with me having her as a friend." Um actually.. I probably never would have kept dating him with this freaky woman around all the time. But anyway.. that's his theory. 
