This is key. You are changing and you said one time that she sees these changes. Whether she says it matters or not, it does. She needs to not have that excuse to leave. And, you need to know that you have done everything on your side that you possibly can do. You are doing very well.
Keep positive and I like how you will do whatever you plan whether she comes or not.
It's good you are thinking about why she is attracted to the OM, you will see where things were missing for her and can work on those things. My "list" was those things that I needed from H and didn't get.
