Finding DB late in the game #4

[cw68]

I'm not jealous of the DINKs and what they have. H says he isn't, but I feel he is. I'm jealous of their freedoms, for sure, but not their things. At the same time, I think their lives are empty. While I can imagine myself without kids, I wouldn't be like my H's boss, for instance. Most of his DINK friends are self-centered and shallow. I, too, would be traveling and the like, but I just know I'd be different because I'm not like them.

We're lucky and money isn't a problem. Even with me staying at home we have nice vacations, great savings and investments and nothing's really a struggle. No, our cars aren't new, but whatever. We don't need to worry about money, just be smart with it.

SAHM-ing is tough and my H has admitted he couldn't do it. He's thanked me a number of times and tells me that I'm mainly the reason our kids are so great, but I know that he doesn't think I'm mentally challenged enough. Instead staying at home makes me sanity-challenged plenty! He'll take over for a day, or a weekend, while I'm off doing something or traveling somewhere and I come home to a cleaner house, he and the kids have done a ton of things and I believe he looks at me like, "Is it too much to ask for you to do this?" But "playing" for a weekend is much different than doing it everyday.

I'm seriously pissed off right now. Rightfully so, but I have to make sure that it doesn't poison me.

Jeff, I understand what your wife is saying. Honestly, I wish I hadn't quit work. I have loved the years home with my kids and if you can be happy doing it, I think having a parent stay home is definitely the best. BUT. Big but. I think if I had worked we wouldn't be at this point. More importantly, I wouldn't be worried about financially taking care of myself for the rest of my life like I am now. I chose to stop working based on a verbal contract that's been broken. Never would I have jeopardized my future, and my kid's future, financially if I would have thought my H would do this. My poor kids, I will tell them not to quit working when they have children so that they aren't ever as vulnerable as I am right now.