Real quick, I agree that he needs to stay in this place a little longer to "get it." You've endured way more than you should've, and if he's going to change his ways and really be commmitted to you and your M, then he's going to need to stew a bit in his own cauldron. He needs to know both how it feels to be lost w/ no control, as well as that he really DOES want to commit to the M.
I'm really sorry that you've had to deal with his poor choices and behavior, both of late and throughout your sitch.
Stay strong -- I think you're doing the right thing!
