Pregnant and heading for acceptance #2

[blindsided1]

Yes, I can't forget to smile. I don't usually have a problem doing that. I'm pretty good at faking it in front of H even though i want to rip his eyes out at the same time, sometimes.

No, Chris, he IS NOT the man I loved and M. He's almost kind of creepy. Maybe that will be my new mantra "he's creepy, he's creepy". I don't think him showing up to these classes is a positive step forward. I think it is almost more like a guilt thing. Like he's supposed to be doing it, so he is. Not that he has ever done what he was "supposed" to do before. I do think about the things that I do NOT have to put up with anymore. You know what the best one is? He can't cheat on me anymore.

Jenny, wow interesting development in you sitch. I read your thread. I'm trying not to resist. I'm actually trying to just put it in it's place and let it pass. Sometimes is easier than others. I am working on sitting back and waiting, but NOT for him. I'm NOT waiting for him. I love him, I miss him. I want our family and our M together. But, I'm really trying to accept that there is a big possibility that we are going to get D and he is going to move forward with OW, FW, SFB (take your pick of acronyms). Oops, did that still seem a little bitter? Sorry.
I am guilty of playing the wrongness of the sitch over and over again in my head and there are many times that the emotion of it all hits me like a ton of bricks. But, it seems to subside faster these days and I am having more positive days. I try to remember that when I'm in the midst of it. I keep telling myself, I CAN get through this. I have before and I will again. That seems to help, some. Everyone keeps telling me (including MIL) that as soon as Kendall arrives, H will take a backseat and I'll be thankful that I don't have to deal with taking care of him, too.