Maybe this new job is just what you need to get things off the fence one way or another.
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It would truly be the end of my M and relationship with ss.
Would it? Or is it possible she would want to move with you?
Also - yes it will seriously hinder your R with SS, but there's still phone, email (if he's old enough, I forget), letters, etc. It would be more of a distant R like you might have with a cross-country nephew or something, but it wouldn't have to be over completely.
On your M - I don't necessarily agree with it but must admit I've contemplated it. One 'extreme approach' suggestion I've read to stop affairs is for you as the "non-cheating spouse" to move to another city, away from the OP. I guess you could call it the ultimate 180 and LRT!
Obviously that's quite a risk and could easily end the M. On the other hand - if she decides to move with you, it will be a very clear decision. You will know she's choosing to be with you. It will also get her away from the direct daily influence of OM.
I do think you should discuss it with her but not as a ploy, as you said. Have an open, honest, calm, and as unemotional as possible conversation about it. I know the "no R talks" rule but sometimes, I think you HAVE to have them.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
