Alimari, Just some thoughts, hopefully useful. There are a couple of levels of ego associated with having sex, at least for me. Having sex at all is one, but chore sex makes this a break even at best. Having mutually desired sex is level two, and that is definitely a plus. There is still the risk of rejection etc, but at least you can feel like your wife wants you. The third level is wife initiated. This is really cool. "I am so hot, that she actually seduces me, and then gets off on it..." This is not to say the wife should always have to initiate, but it is great to get some some sort of clear signal, seduction vs initiation. Now, the other risk a man takes is his skill as a lover. This area is almost as vulnerable as the general sex. God forbid you can't get your wife to have an orgasm or you find out she has been faking (worse). But, the gold standard suposedly is making sure your wife is taken care of first (unselfish lover) and then giving her multiples, which is all the rage (state of excellence). I realize that if you know he is after all of this, then it probably does put some more pressure on you, but that may be what his is thinking now. Just my 2 cents.
