Drowning, still...

[CBK]

Gforce, this is where I am the weakest. I just want to ask her how she is doing, what is going on in her mind? I am glad I will see my IC today, I have gone through the roller coaster lately, getting all worked up right now after reading some of the other threads and seeing all the pain that others are going through. I have so many questions for her, but know I cannot ask them right now. I saw WDID list the other day and said, yea, that is it, I want to make one of those lists some day - I want to know what my wife would like from me. God do I miss her. Hard to sit on the side lines - and really say to myself that I am going to be better after all of this - and IF she decides to come back, we have a long road to pave. Will I be ready still? God I hope so.

I am so glad parents are coming up this weekend, can't wait to see them. I have to stay strong though and be myself.

See, stomach in knots, all teary eyed, sitting in my office. I guess I should get out of here and go hit a bucket of balls and get ready for my first golf outing in a while...

Groan...

CBK