I think J meant that he's a few yrs shy from near adulthood, it would've been nice to let you know, but is not that they didn't tell you he was getting surgery or something, his studies are very important to you, but letting you know about a test would not have changed a thing, it's just a test, let go a little hon, I mean this in the best possible way)))
If you have a good inkling that he is going to be a jerk, don't bother asking him for stuff, make do with what you have to avoid any unpleasantries, your d12 will also have to make some concessions and have 2 tents, you can't give her everything.
Why can't d12 stay with d18 so you can go out?
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
but letting you know about a test would not have changed a thing, it's just a test,
Actually it's the exams that all british kids have to sit at the end of thier compulsory education. They determine his future. So it is a very big thing.
Quote:
Why can't d12 stay with d18 so you can go out?
It was supposed to be overnight. Yes I could ask D18, yes I can trust her to look after her sister but that's what she is, her sister not her mother. She has her own life to lead and I'm not about to put barriers in place just b/c mine is falling apart.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
well, you know your kids, if it is ok with her I dont' see harm in letting her help you and give you a break for one night, unless you go out every weekend and she's stuck home. Hope s15 did well, I'm sure he'll let you know the results.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Does anybody know where I can sell the hair that I just pulled out of my head in frustration?
I'm beginning to hate my H and I don't want that. I'm quite literally loosing my mind.
I had a telephone bill this morning that said I was a substantial amount of money in debit. Considering I pay all my bills up front on a monthly basis that is not good. when i checked the bill the 'overspend' was virtually the same amount as the cost of S15 phoning his GF on her mobile.
Now before you say, it's ok he is with H now this won't happen for a while I can tell from the bill that he is coming home at lunchtime (when I am at work) just to use the phone so this isn't likely to stop short of me not having a phone at all.
So I TMd H and asked him to bring S15 round this evening for me to discuss this with S15. His reply was to stop contacting him on his mobile. I was pretty angry with this so I TMd back 'Bring my son home and I can stop contacting you. In the meantime if I need to liaise with you about him I will be using this number' His ever so genteel response was that he was going to ask his L to take this court!
I knew all along that if I asked S15 to come here and discuss this he wouldn't come.Still I phoned him and he just said every time we speak mum it's for you to have a go at me. I tried to explain but he wasn't listening so eventually I told him I loved him, I hoped his exams this week went well and that when he wants to speak to me he knows where I am'
I have totally lost the plot. I should be in a mental institution.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
I have totally lost the plot. I should be in a mental institution.
No, they should be in mental institutions. Don't you remember, the first sign that you AREN'T the crazy one is that you wonder if you are!
I don't know how to advise on this unauthorized phone usage. This is really tough love, but maybe you should consider changing your door locks, so S is obliged to spend H's money on phone calls.
As to H's nastiness, maybe remember his is just another teenager having a tantrum, no more or less mature than S. I wouldn't worry about hating him temporarily...remember, the opposite of love is indifference, not hate, FWIW.
I really don't know about the phone business, just wanted to offer support. Maybe your L has an idea?
maybe you should consider changing your door locks, so S is obliged to spend H's money on phone calls
I've already had them changed once since H left b/c both locks seized up. It cost me even more than the cost of the calls! Also I don't want him to think he isn't welcome here. I want him to come home and soon. Ironically I no longer have a walk around phone so that the children (and S15 in particular) couldn't take the phone to thier bedrooms and spend hours on it before i realised. Looks like i might have to reverse this decision and lock it away in my safe everyday until S15 gets the message.
I think I've almost reached the point where I want this D as much as H. I want to be at a point where he can't hurt me anymore (although after reading Jeanette's thread I'm no sure this is ever possible!). After last weekend I also want to be at the point where if I choose to date I can. I know I could now if I really wanted to but that wouldn't be showing my children a good example so I won't.
This is worse than adolescence. At least then I had people around me on a day to day basis who knew what I was going through, cared and tried to help me through (even if I didn't want that at the time ). Apart from you guys I just feel so alone and I am sooooooooooooo tired of feeling that way. On days like today I feel like i am battling against the whole world all at once.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
Alison, oh dear Please don't confuse issues with your son with those with your H. Yes H should be supporting you in dealing with your wayward son but he isn't. Is the �15.00 worth this aggravation and stress to you? Your son is the problem here and requires some tough love! I have said before he plays you and he is now in his element cos he has you and H at each others throats so to speak. I believe you can put a password on your phone to "lock it", easier than changing the locks.If your H is not going to enforce discipline on your son then it's up to you to do it. I am sorry but thats a fact otherwise in a few years from now you are going to have one very disrespectful and out of control child. No more being nice to son because you feel guilty he left home. As for dating-hmmm I know you are just lashing out when you have calmed down you will have rethunk! I hope your week end gets better what you got planned?
). Apart from you guys I just feel so alone and I am sooooooooooooo tired of feeling that way. On days like today I feel like i am battling against the whole world all at once.