Oh Lissie: I feel every emotion since I know them oh so well.
First off - I'd not talk to Susan again. It is a cheeseless tunnel. She does not, cannot believe she is wrong. No amount of effort on your part will ever make her see that. I realized this with maggot years ago. Anything she says can and will hurt you. Please let it go.
As far as her involvement with his family - it is almost inevitable. I never thought Chuck's family would accept maggot either. I don't know how they really feel deep inside, but I doubt they like or trust her. But he is their family and at some point they know he made choices that don't include me and they learn to live with it because he is blood.
Accept that she WILL be involved with your children. You will do best not to say much about her to them, to let them figure it out for themselves but also to let them make their own choices. Of course I would not want her at my daughter's birthday party. Especially at my home. But your daughter has a say in this and if she doesn't want her - she needs to let her dad know this. That speaks volumes. It is HER day. Even if Ash wanted maggot at her party, though (which would be a cold day in Hell), I would not agree if the party were at my home. I have my limits too.
Honey - he is not your friend. Friends don't lie and cheat to their friends. The best you can hope for is a businesslike co-parenting situation which is better than most of us have. I can't even talk to my ex but that works for me.
I know how difficult this all is but frankly, scenes like this with Javier and Susan just make it easier in the long run for you to move forward without him. He is a total JERK.
Wishing you a better day today and in the days to come. You are a very sweet girl and you deserve so much more than this garbage.
too bad we aren't vindictive because if he still has access then he is still partially responsible and then you could in theory skip town and leave all the bills to him
of course then we might have to call you LSS2!!!
get on your raincoat cuz that spew will spoil a nice bag faster than i don't know what
Lissie: Phone your lawyer! (Or email him if you are allowed to). Fwd the email to him. DO NOT get involved in it. He is harrassing you and it has to end. Ask your L what to do. Your bills are not his business unless he is the one responsible for the bill. He divorced you. He has NO RIGHT AT ALL to tell you how to live your life. He is getting nasty. You need some protection. If it doesn't stop a restraining order might be necessary. Let your L decide.
I wanted to ditto a couple of things posted to you already by cat, barbie, fig, and others:
Don't believe everything out of her mouth. Dont talk to her if you can avoid it. Let your L handle the nastiness.
Sadly I so agree that he isn't your friend, that he isn't and hasn't behaved like a friend. He has to be your coparent, but that is about it.
Bleh, bleh, bleh. This is hard and unnecessary.
HOwzabout gathering up a couple of your brothers to act as secret bouncers for the bday party, just in case. NO point upsetting little Ms. M, just a back up! I'm with you and everyone else on this, it's your house and your guest list. Period.
(((Lissie))) it sucks now but you know it will get better. The rollercoaster has just taken a big dip down for the moment.
Run some past the electric company too. What about the decree? What about the house? What says who's name the electric bill will be in? Yours? Your parents? If you have to carry a copy of the decree to the electric company to prove he doesn't live there and has no responsibility in the decree for payment, they should work something out. Then you will have every right to go on line and create a new login "LissTheAngel" and a new password "NoAsswipesAllowedHereAnymore".
If you have to make arrangements to have it turned off and back on in the same day just to get the name changed, it might involve a service fee or extra deposit. Probably the best money you'll ever spend, except for the L of course.
With the decree in hand, they should not require him to agree to or sign any change in service. If he does have to, just tell him you must do this to establish some history with the company and some credit for the future of you and the kids. What if something happened to him and you had no power to manage the account?
I'm afraid that this is only going to be one of many undesirable notes or calls you will get from him in the days, weeks, and years to come. They will get easier to deflect with practice. The teflon jumpsuit helps, but is not much of a fashion statement. Wear it with DB pride. Many of us have had to get one.
I've had my own emails this past week and wore teflon to the max. And mind you, my kids are grown; so there is no statute of limitations in affect on the crimes you will eventually be accused of. The best thing you can do is determine just who will be the source of your grief and start cutting them off at the roots. Then take a whiz on them in hopes they won't be able to grow back. Really good for the attitude even if it doesn't last long.
Speeeeking of attitudes, I'm off wUrk tomorrow so I shall begin toasting you and your wonderful kids within the hour.
