Ready for the long ride.

[LucasE]

Thanks cat, I'm just not the guy to hook up with the nanny, as enticing as that might be. My dad would have, and that's probably why I wouldn't. I'm a one woman guy, which is certainly why I'm here. It is a strange phenomenon, when I thought I was happily married, I was attracted to most women. Now that my W is rejecting me, I can't seem to find anyone attractive, except, of course, my sweet darling W, cold and cruel as she may be now. That is my current curse. And yes, it is the power I give to the curse. If I could shut down my feelings for W, I would. No, I wouldn't. If I survive this, the new highs could dwarf the old ones.

UPDATE: Well, some very interesting things have happened since I decided to try to talk to W. She has opened up to me twice and even cried both times. This is the first time in five months that she has dropped her happy guard. She misses her dad. She is staying at his old house. She took down some of his art and then missed it, so she put it back up. Is this a signal? Like she is not sure about all this change? Or is this just about an empty wall? I am encouraged by the display of emotion. It has to be a good thing. The next morning, it was high heels at 8 am.

I'm holding on for the ride. I think I might be changing. I think I have become much more relationship aware. I hope that I might be able to try my new skills with my W. She does not seem to be ready. I wrote a song for my d7 school play. Everyone loves it. W thought it was dumb.

Love to all of you. L