Pregnant and heading for acceptance #2

[blindsided1]

I'm hanging in there. I've been noticing the last few times I see H that he is adopting a different kind of look and personality. It's almost "low life"-ish. I hate to sound indelicate or judgemental, but he used to have a personality. He's dressing differently and he grew a mustache and goatee and he isn't drinking the same kind of beer. Just the little things. It's like he has adopted the characteristic of OW's friends. I suppose this is normal. But, it's also kind of a turn off. At least before he was interesting. Now, he's kind of...I don't know, different and not in a good way.

I was also talking to my, soon to be, sister in-law yesterday. She said that she really used to enjoy hanging out with H and I because 1) it fostered the relationship between H and his brother and 2) she enjoyed my company. Now, she says when H comes over (very rarely) or they have a family function, she doesn't want to be there. She doesn't agree with what he is doing and he seems different, also. It's really sad because H and I have always had different views about family. I am extremely close to mine and very family oriented. H has never been close to his family. When we got together I made sure that changed. I brought he and his family closer. He had a great R with his Dad, which he never had before. He was talking to his Mom more and he was building a friendship with his brother. I can't tell you how many times they thanked me and asked me "who was that person" because they were so shocked at the changes in my H. Now, he maybe talks to his Dad a couple times a month. He never talks to his Mom. His R with is brother is minimal, unless he needs something. It makes me sad. I would hate to think that maybe this is just who he is. Maybe he is just a loner. And, this new life is more comfortable for him because he doesn't have to be anything special. He's so much better than that. Maybe he feels no pressure from OW and her friends and that's the attraction. I don't know. It just feels weird. He seems so different, now. It's almost unattractive, to me.

Tonight there is another baby class. Different from Tuesday's class. I DID NOT think he was going and on Tuesday he said he WAS. So, we'll see if he shows up. If he does I hope tonight is more comfortable. But, if not, I just have to deal, right?