For the guy with kids and WW II

[hopeful4her]

wdid and CBK, thank you.

Again, it is easy to give others advice but when it comes to me, hard take my own.

B never called and good thing. Don't need to be thinking about her or WW so much. Need to think more about myself.

On the way home, stopped to gas up. Another .10 cents up since last time! I start to call home and WW calls me at same time telling me she is on the way home. Kids told her that they wanted chic-filet. She asks what to get and then she decides that we'll both get nuggets and makes salads for ourselves and get the kids the sandwich family pack. I agree and ask her about her day. we talk for about 20 minutes about our days. Her day started terrible and got better after lunch. Lunch. What did you do for lunch? I am dying to ask. I won't. Felt really good to talk to her like that.

At home, she announces to me that she can't believe that she was shorted a pack of french fries, and shows me an empty pack. We laugh. Couldn't help herself. I get kids food ready and she checks on puppies and lets them all out. Puppies are everywhere and kids are running around and having a good time. We all are. Were laughing at the puppies and the kids. I make our salads and she continues to talk about work. We talk and we laugh some more and sit to eat.

She mentions that she was considering visiting her dad in Laredo this weekend. I think this is what was on her mind when I made the suggestion for the weekend getaway. Her dad had called yesterday evening and it was after that when I suggested the weekend. He is dying of cancer and did not sound good at all. I tell her that it would be a good idea to visit him, as I have suggested it before. We talk about her dad a bit. I ask her if she wants to take the kids along and she says yes. Not sure if I was invited. Didn't ask.

We sit and watch American Idol for a bit and she is laying on the sofa opposite of me. Her feet keep brushing my leg. She usually makes an effort to not let that happen. After a while, she does catch it and changes positions. After kids in bed, she asks about finishing the movie we started. She goes into room and starts to check bank account on computer to see her paycheck. She wants to see how much smaller her check is now that benefits are being deducted.

I ask about the benefits she chose. Family and addl life insurance including me.

Now this is part of the problem with us. I had told her not to take family coverage as everyone is on my insurance at work. She would be paying double for coverage. She should have gotten coverage for herself only at the very least. But now she is paying for family and so am I. Waste of money. Did I say anything. No. Don't want to point it out and make her sound like a dummy for her choice. She was probably thinking if we seperate. She sees the huge difference it makes in her check and becomes kind of quiet. Almost a $200 difference. Not good for someone that was planning on getting her own place. I could sense it.

We watch the rest of the movie and she falls asleep before the very last scene and opens her eyes as credits start to roll. I laugh at her and tell her the end. Earlier, she said something was going to happen in the movie and I pushed her shoulder and asked her how she knew. Go to bed with the blanket again, so again, we are a little closer than usual. More leg and arm touching.

In the morning, kids off to school and D6 is having another hard morning. WW decides she will take her to school. My usual lunch question. She says she'll take a sandwich, and I make our lunches. We are still playing around and joking with each other. It feels so good. WW puts D6 in car and comes back in to get her lunch. She tells me to have a good day and I tell her the same with a light touch of her arm.

I love days like these past couple. I do not fool myself however. I will just keep doing the same as I have. If what I am doing is pursuing, then maybe it is. It just seems right. Not overdoing. Just slightly more closeness. More friendship than anything else. No asking for a lunch date. No R talks. Working on me and my actions. Learning to do more things outside. Making more decisions. Making her laugh a little more. This is a 180 for me, being such a serious person all the time. Show how happy go lucky I am. Not trying to do all the stuff inside. Letting her do more, like waking up the kids and doing the dishes. I have been trying to do it all. Let her remember her part in the house. Planning more exciting things for the weekends. I do think that if I plan something and then tell her "Your invited if you want to come along, too" just doesn't sound right. I'm not inviting her, just assuming she's included. I think she assumes the same.