I'm not sure what to tell you either, but that does really suck! He may have 'every right' to stay in your house, but that doesn't mean it's the 'right thing' to do! He's put you through hell and back. Does he have any idea how hard this is on you?
Bear hugs to you! (((((((((((((((( HUGS )))))))))))))))))
(((((((LO)))))))), I'm speechless, what an A$$! Have you talked to your attorney about this. I guess there is nothing you can do, but wow, he was so eager to get away from you and find his "soul mate" now he wants to prolong your pain. I'm so sorry hon....
Hugs, Yoyou
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
How can I live with that??? WTH??? What am I going to do???????!!!!!!
Here's some ideas:
Start bringing guy friends around. Make friends with OW and tell her you and your H have sex all the time. When you know he's w/OW send him sexy text messages. Put all his stuff in a box, put it on the front porch and change the locks.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
How can I live with that??? WTH??? What am I going to do???????!!!!!!
Here's some ideas:
Start bringing guy friends around. Make friends with OW and tell her you and your H have sex all the time. When you know he's w/OW send him sexy text messages. Put all his stuff in a box, put it on the front porch and change the locks.
Root, I love it, reverse psychology. Make his life miserable. What does she have to lose? Maybe this way she could gain a house and some sanity!
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
I am so sorry you are having to deal with this new twist. Do you think that your H is just trying to yank your chain...and see what he can get away with? That he's hoping you will fold and be the one to move?
This is something my H floated by me a year ago...declared that he would "move out for about 6 months while you figure out what you're going to do," (i.e. find somewhere to live) and then H would move back in for 'a year or so' to get the house ready to sell...When I laid down a firm boundary that I would stay in the house until it sold, H went ballistic...accused me of being totally selfish and not thinking about what was best for our kids...and then never moved out! (I still worry some about this scenario rearing its ugly head again sometime soon, as I think H is probably planning to make a move this summer...)
So stand strong on this boundary...don't let him bully you into taking actions you don't want!
Start bringing guy friends around. Make friends with OW and tell her you and your H have sex all the time. When you know he's w/OW send him sexy text messages. Put all his stuff in a box, put it on the front porch and change the locks.
ROOT! I LOVE IT Here's another one: Send yourself some flowers with a card signed with a guy's name. "Thanks for such a great time! Love, XXX"
Rather than be tortured anymore by all of this she might as well have some fun with the situation. I think she's finally detached enough to do this.
I know it's not exactly DBing, but I don't think Olive doesn't have anything to lose either. I think even if her H turned around tomorrow and wanted to come back she would have too much anger and resentment to be interested in making it work. In other words, she has been pushed too far and I think she'd eventually want to go.
And I think doing the things I've described might even her work out some of the resentment so maybe there would actually be a slim (very slim!) chance of reconciliation in the far off future. She won't feel like she's continuing to be a doormat. She'll get to dish out a little of what he's been dishing her.
I think it's time for a bit of "payback" so he knows exactly how it feels. He's been WAAAAAY too selfish for too long.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
No, there is no way the fog is lifting. ow just may not have a house to live in and between the two they don't have cash to stay someplace together. Simple as that. He WANTS to move in with her.. just can't right now. And, I'm just stubborn enough to stand my ground and stay there, too!!!
I talked to my attorney and at this point, he has every right to be there. There may be a possibility of getting something in the final documents but, he could refuse to sign. UGH!!
L2 - I, too, am accused all the time of being selfish and not looking out for our child's best interest. The latest drama is him suggesting using ow as our daycare (since she doesn't work!) to save money. Of course, I said no way and was then accused of being selfish since it is inconvenient for stbxh to drive to the current daycare.
The latest drama is him suggesting using ow as our daycare (since she doesn't work!) to save money. Of course, I said no way and was then accused of being selfish since it is inconvenient for stbxh to drive to the current daycare.
WTH??????????? This might be one of the craziest things I've heard....and I've heard a lot of crazy things. He wants his mistress to watch your daughter to save him money. I'm sorry, but selfish isn't even a word to describe this. Sorry Olive. Keep staying strong and detaching. I'm thinking of you.
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07 Current Thread
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
Karen
