And so it begins....

[one_light]

Thank you all for your kind words, good advice, and giving a damn. I have spent so much time and energy Dbing, always trying to do the right thing, keeping a pleasant demeanor, and carrying on light conversation while my pulse is racing and my heart is beating out of my chest. Hanging on by a string to the dimmest shreds of hope. At the very least, I can get some modicum of closure. The thought of life without her, however, is unbearable.

We live in a small town and will have frequent regular contact. I would almost have to become a hermit to avoid playing spectator to whatever relationships develop for her. It turns my stomach just to write this. To see her playing kissy-face in the bars. We had a white hot love that I guess burned out. The beginning of the relationship was very sexually charged. Man… turns my stomach.