You know you'r right. Because he is not a fully evolved man species, he will first react defensively with emotions of anger and resentment. One day he may learn that the person we get most angry at when we think we are angry at someone else, is ourself. We get angry at ourself when we know we have screwed up and been caught doing so. We reflect that anger back at the person exposing our mistakes in hopes of minimizing our own blame.
When he starts that crap, just imagine youself in your best dress and finest pair of shoes doing the "Matrix" moves. Gracefully swish from side to side as his spew flies by. Focus. Wink. Remember who he is most angry at, as if it were your little secret from him ... cuz he really doesn't know anyway.
He might one day, if he evolves. Your job is not to help him do that. Your job is to prepare Moises so he will when the time is right. Your job is to keep doing what you are doing, and looking fine while doing it.
I am not good at this. I called Susan and left her a detailed message, I know that i should keep shut. I told her, listen, if you and javier had your lived together, and my kids had to stay there, I would be fine with it, as long as your my kids had their own space. I was calm cool and collected, I even told her i was happy, that our children got along. I said i love that your children are so caring towards my children. I said thank you for being kind to them too. I just will not have my children sleeping on the floor.
You handled this respectfully with kindness and grace. Why didn't your X get his a$$ on the floor with his son? Your children should have slept in a bed as a guest in someone's house. His actions were wrong on so many levels.
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Javier sent me a message, saying that Karma is right around the corner for me.
Karma is the cycle of cause and effect. For being a good mom and keeping the best interest of your children your #1 priority, you will be blessed. So on this point, I do agree with him, although he states this with negativity. His karma is right around the corner as well and I am pretty sure he will not be rewarded.
You are wise and strong. Your intentions are good. Take a deep breath and this too shall pass. You did good.
Oh my dear you have just behaved above and beyond any reasonable expectations...you have been so civil and classy. What a model, going through the L as you did, I don't know how you did it, and don't know if I could have.
I can't even think of something bad enough to wish for J and S.
But I do so agree with AO on the karma thing....Javier is right, but not in the way he meant it.
What an asswipe, idiotic, brain-dead excuse for a father.
You could not teach Javier to be a man when his own parents couldn't. So don't expect him to be one. He doesn't understand this. It is not in him to man up.
He speaks the truth.
You did what you needed to do--you were strong. I like it!
I was in San Fran last weekend and saw the funniest sticker--it said "I'm not a real Bitch, I just play one in your life." I loved it! Just thought I'd share.
He thinks you're crazy? No he doesn't. He's just projecting. He knows exactly what's what, but maybe if he makes you doubt yourself you might back off. He made a decision to go against the agreement and do what he wanted instead of taking the kids feelings or your wishes into consideration.
Lissie that was really a sad thing to read about your son saying he was scared to tell his Father how he felt. Since M trusts you and feels safe with you, you have no choice but to do the right thing for him and your little girl, there is no other choice. J put you in this position! All you ever asked was that he do right by the kids.
Thank you all for your wonderful words, and just for having my back thru all of this crap.
Last night was just, draining. Susan called me at home, I told her the ground rules of how my children should be treated.
She also told me things like, Javier's mom has met her, Had Easter dinner at her house with her kids. She also told me that she has met his sister, and her husband, at Javier's moms house.
So Javier's mom and sister lying to me, telling me they will never meet her, or love her, and that I am the only DIL for them is just more BS.
Alot of BS has been going around.
She has been so lied too, as have I.
Well, that is pretty typical. She is under the impression, that she is not a whore, and that she did nothing wrong, and that her and Javier did not have an affair.
It is me who thinks that only.
blah, blah.
She never asks Javier any questions, and just takes Javier's word for everything, even tho she has a nagging feeling in her stomach that he has lied to her.
She said to me, Why don't you give me a copy of your divorce decree, I said I wouldn't even give youa copy of my foot up your ass, never mind a decree.
Javier had the balls to invite her to my D's birthday party on this May. And he told her that I will make a scene if i see her there.
I said you are not invited or allowed anywhere near my children or our festivities ever.
Um, does he think that Mia will be ok with this? I mean ruining her day at her bday party with her friends?
I don't understand. I don't understand how him and his family, think I am the one making a big deal out of things.
I sometimes feel like i had to go thru all of this, so i can wake the hell up.
I have been sheltered, and very protected, from so many things.
I have to know that not everyone stands by the right thing to do.
I have now realized, that people will lie at the drop of a hat to benefit themselves.
The dumb part, is i still get shocked about it. Life lessons, I am learning every day. It sucks
I am tired, and drained.
I am just done with all of them. I do not want my life mingled with any of them ever again.
I wish he was not the father of my children.
I am trying not to carry hate in my heart.
I have to get myself centered again, and in a good place.
Sorry for the ramble.
Thanks for listening.
besos.
Live Simply Love Generously Care Deeply Speak Kindly Leave the rest to God
The tough chica role you play on tv has served you well. It's rubbed off, even if it doesn't feel like it
It broke my heart to hear that M didn't want to tell his dad how he felt. It is so awesome that he has you to talk to. Your little angels are very blessed that you are their Mom.
She said to me, Why don't you give me a copy of your divorce decree, I said I wouldn't even give youa copy of my foot up your ass, never mind a decree.
you are golden girl))))))) and what a sad thing that il's were lying. BUT, I sure hope you didnt' believe half of what she said (had my own talk with ow one day, their lips are moving, but are they saying anything?) And just try not to talk to talk to her at all hon, she'll bs you as J is.
About the party, who's paying for it and where is it being held? if you are paying for it she should not be allowed anywhere near the place!
I refuse to believe that those two lowlives can drag down a wonderful woman like you babe, refuse them the right to drain you, deal with your L and cut contact as much as it is possible, kind of like stepping away from the sewer to avoid its stench.
You can do it honey, abrazos))))))))))))))
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
