After talking with a very good mutual friend of ours lastnight, he told me that if H were in a right frame of mind, things such as ultimatums and boundaries, that sort of thing would work but not with H.
This friend, who does have a background in psych., said H is very paranoid. He would not react to the above because that is not the way he does things.
Also, we think deep down he's afraid because there are some characteristics that appear to be similar to his mother's mental disorders and we are sure this is not something he wants to hear or know about.
His advice: just let him be, leave him alone, let him get thru this because eventually he will. H likes to punish himself (gee, what a surprise!) and when he is truly sick of living his life like this, he will come out of it, sooner rather than later.
This is not about OW at all. She just has a place for him to retreat when he cannot deal with things. He gets very little sleep, goes to bed in the wee hours of the morning but he seems to function on the job.
I can honestly say I have plenty to do here and really, if he were living at home, it would be that much more difficult on everyone to watch him go thru the spinning and cycling.
Yes, H wants to be home but he is not ready to come back.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
