Help Me Act AS IF, Part 5

[newnamenewlife]

H thanked me for calling a L, then said he knows it's hard. This morning he was pratically giddy with relief, it seemed, so then he was being more relaxed and present and playful with me and then he seems like the old him and we start interacting like the old us (in a good way) and then I get confused again about why he wants to leave our M and why he won't miss me. I played it very cool, though--did not say anything about that stuff at all.

We were in the car driving the kids to school, cracking jokes as we do and I could see H looking over at me to see if I was laughing at his jokes. I tried to stay cool, again, but it's those little things that get me, since our shared sense of humor was one of the major things that brought us together in the first place. H talks about how he loved that I got his sense of humor, and now it seems he still looks for my approval in that area.

It just feels so wrong to be calling a L when we interact like that. It feels totally crazy, yet I guess I have to somehow follow through with it.