I just want to say that this is my first time posting here. I've had a chance to look around and think my situation is maybe a little different from some of the other ones I have seen. Here's the deal:

My wife and I have been married for just over a year, and together for two. It's at this point that anyone I ask for help ignores me, saying, "You're newly weds. You can't possibly have any REAL issues. You just need to give it time." I hope I don't get the same response here. Anyway, I have a very high sex drive. Before my wife, I would prefer to have sex two or three times a day when in a relationship. My wife, on the other hand...almost no drive. I can't understand why...no history of sexual abuse, we're both young (she's 26, I'm 25), she's healthy, and I have always bent over backwards to take care of her and provide her with anything she wants/needs.

I had a bad feeling that she was setting a precedent for something when she was "too tired" to have sex on our wedding night...that's consistently been her excuse not to have sex. It has really been on the decline (it wasn't great before we got married, but at least it was like twice a week or so)....now, we're down to maybe once a month. I think the only reason we had sex this month was because it was my birthday, and she didn't get me a gift. When we do have sex, she NEVER initiates it, and wants to do as little as possible....she won't get on top, she won't perform oral sex on me, we don't do any, erm, alternate activities anymore...it's just missionary position now, and if I take longer than 5 minutes (which is almost always), she's hurrying me along.

Now I'm not a bad lover. I've had many partners, and they have all said I'm very good. I am attentive. I am caring. I make sure that my partner orgasms before I do. Hell, I even WANT to cuddle afterwards. But when someone doesn't want to have sex with you and hurries you along when you do, it really is a blow to your ego.

She also demands that I not view porn. She claims it is degrading and that it makes her self-conscious. She took some pictures of herself naked, and insists I use those for any self gratification. In her head, I think she believes that that will serve as a substitute for sex.

We've talked about it, fought about it, you name it. I ask her why...her answer is always, "I don't know." In fact, that is her response to pretty much anything whenever we're having a fight. And EVERYTHING is about her in our relationship...we have to eat what she wants, watch what she wants, do what she wants, at all times. If I want to watch something and she isn't in the mood for it at the moment, she'll get up and leave....but I'm not allowed to do the same thing. I am a giving person, but I can't help but feel she is taking advantage of that and feeding her selfishness.

I could really use some advice. I'm at my wits end. I am so sexually frustrated that I find myself tempted to go outside our marriage, something I never believed I would even be capable of thinking about. I can't just divorce her...I have threatened to leave a couple of times, and both times she attempted suicide (I think more to just keep me from leaving than actual depression). Anything...anyone?