Sounds like you need to try a different Church.

I came back to my spirituality through AlAnon...found my way into a Methodist congregation lead by a progressive woman. It just fits. I don't think it was by accident, either. Too many coincidents.

I am getting what I need, learning, growing and healing. And I'm grateful.

Another statistic that I read: 85% of second marriages that happen within 2 years of a divorce, fail themselves. Bad news for stbx's adulterous relationship. Reminds me to keep the focus on me and what I need to learn before trying to involve someone else.