The best piece of advice I have is to go to marriage counseling. There are old patterns between you two that don't go away without work and awareness. Honestly, if it wasn't for MC, I don't think H and I would be doing as well as we are.

Find a MC who is solutions-based and focused on helping you learn how to communicate with each other.

Stay detached. Being detached is essential in all relationships. It means you aren't basing your feelings on your H. When I get in trouble, it is usually because I haven't stayed detached.

DBing is for life. GAL/PMA/180s/detaching.

Patience. Piecing is long. I'm coming up on the two year anniversary of the bomb, and I think it's just been in the past month that I feel like we're "there."

Good luck to you!

SD

Me: 40
H: 43
H had EA from 2/06-9/06
Bomb 5/06
Piecing since 9/2006
3/2008: Boundary setting
7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb.
8/2010: Marriage finally on track!