Just a quick quick post. Internet monitoring to the extreme at work.
Anyway, Don't worry too much about the whole asking for a ride thing. I did the same thing and asked FW to give me a ride in his new Jeep when he got it while he was living away from me and he didn't act exactly thrilled about that either.
As far as him saying you guys are over, we are only married on paper. I heard those EXACT same words. Heard that the divorce is just a formality because as far as he was concerned we were no longer married. Period. He now says he was saying that at the time to convince himself as much as it was to convince me. He said he was trying to get me to agree so he could have justification and feel OK in his mind about what he was doing.
As far as when do you know that they are never coming back. i can't answer that question. Only you will know that. I never once gave up hope completely. Never once said to myself, "You know, he's really never coming back."
I tried to live my life as if he was never coming back. I did things and made decisions as if he was never coming back (never dated), but I never really ever thought that he would be gone forever and that we would go through a divorce.
So, I think you will know if he's never coming back. I think you will just know since you know him better than anyone.
FW gave conflicting messages. Said we were done, he wasn't in love with me anymore, but then would call me when OW wasn't around and chat about nothing important. He would get terribly jealous of other guys and of me going out with my friends and having a life, but tell me the next day that I needed to find someone that would treat me right.
Just pray for God's will to be done in your marriage. I knew His will wasn't for a divorce. I just knew it. That's what kept me going.
BFM
There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you. David Burns, Intimate Connections
