~So I got my hair done and it looks great went darker than I normally go..... my H loved it. Didnt say it but I could tell by the smile on his face.

So Last nite I try again and he reciprocates but he is in a hurry..... \:\(

~So I tell him it would have been nicer if he would have had more time to play and he says well you know I am tired and I have to get up early.

I laugh and tell him thanks for at least being so BRUTALLY honest.
It is my hope that by example he will not be so critical of me if I am not critical of him.

He really no exagerration expects to see me always sexy and always hot and in the mood ~ PRETTY MUCH humanly IMPOSSIBLE ~

SO if I cut him some slack maybe he will ease up. What sometimes keeps me stuck is the pressure. I feel anxiety at times and then my body is telling him something different than what I am really feeling and he gets a look on his face and it escalates from there. If it were more low key ...
I do believe I would be able to get more "ravenous" and be more "H*rny" I do think that is key when we were first getting to know one another he had no expectations from me and didnt make me feel like an idiot. Then the Sexual Godddess that I am was in full force. I do want to get her back.... I wonder all the time where in the H*ll she is. She occasionally makes and appearance but I have to be very relaxed and not feel pressured and he does have to make deposits. *I.E. little things thruout the day to stoke the fire.
It is a work in progress, all in all we are getting along great this is just once last thing we need to really focus on for awhile.
I know we will always have to put eachother first and really love one another for this to continue to work but we also need to accept eachothers flaws.

I have found out a lot by reading PM and realize that sometimes when my H wants to "pound" it out during ML.... he is trying too hard and it doesnt always work like that.
But I am grown up enough to know it is ok ... I am really working on being present when we ML , some days it is harder than others.....
~It is only a small fraction of time .
I need to give that precious time my full attention. Easier said than done.
It takes me longer to clean the kitchen

*( I do make big meals, and I do not clean as I go..... and sometimes it takes me over an hour)

.......than it does to ML and have a good time.. like I said easier said than done.

All in all this is good and I am moving forward. Lots to think about.....
God bless....