Lea- why don't you have a stab at some goals- some for yourself, and some for your H, and we can give you feedback here on the boards. I think MWD also has some advice on goal setting in the rsources sections at the top of the forums page, and also in DR itself.
Your goals should be manageable, maybe 50-50 about your R and yourself. For yourself, what areas do you want to improve? Getting fit? Going out more? I wanted to make new friends, so my goal was to make at least 2 new good friends this year, and to go out lots more (I'm a bit of a homebody).
For my R, I wanted H to feel comfortable calling me and speaking to me. I wanted to see eye contact, and for him to feel secure in our friendship (if you want to see my other goals, find my posts from around the Jan 1st/2nd this year). Each of these goals was broken down into the smallest action that H would need to take for me to feel I was on the right path. As Michelle says in DR, when you see one of these baby steps happen, you'll feel a whole lot better about your DBing and be motivated to keep going. What would you like to see in your R with H?
In relation to not seeing a future for me and my H, I still sometimes feel like that, but then I try to imagine my life without him and I can't. I guess the thing to do is to take some time to decide how you feel and whether you want to fight for your M. There isn't a right or wrong answer to that- it's totally up to you..... Reading DR could help, so I would recommend getting into it properly.
