H is Having Affair after all - Part 2

[Evie]

Thanks all,

I feel as if i'm not handling this well at all. Everytime i respond, it appears to be through anger and not validating.

I agree with everything you all have to say, i'm beginning to think i myself have a serious problem with anger...

Last night all I could think about was what Saffie had pointed out - that his apologies were empty and insincere. Also that he hates confrontation and will do all he can to keep me onside.

Lets not forget that the A has probably been going on for much longer (maybe a year more) than he has admitted to, so i know about how much deceit he is capable of. Maybe i'm not as capable of forgiveness as I thought I was?.

I know he sees OW on a daily basis b/c of work and she appear to have replaced me as a friend b/c i know about work issues that they have talked about. Stuff he would normally discuss with me.

Also last night i thought why just not file for D?, get it over and done with, he's not coming home, he has lied and decieved for probably most of our R, could he ever change? Probably not.

Another thing is that now he has freed up some cash for himself, he hasn't started teh decorating as he said he would to get the house on the market. I can just about afford the utilities but I'm scared to spend any money.

I have made an appoitment to see my S on tuesday.

I'm sorry to be so negative. Its a year since today since the first bomb. I just thought that I would be further along than I am by now, yet i'm still unable to make decisions.