Drowning, still...

[CBK]

Can't beleive I locked another thread. Here is my last
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1439119#Post1439119

Well, on my way home, thanks WDID, MFT and Ping - and sorry for any others that tried to find me and give me the talk.

I actually read a piece Faithful sent me a while back on detachment on the airplane. I think when he sent it, I wasn't ready, but as I read this piece, it started to hit home. I put it on my desktop and forgot about it until tonight. I will post it at a later date. When you start getting your "mind right" it makes a lot more sense...

I am planning on going home and NOT talk about M or R. If W is up still and her door is open, I will say hello and act as if. I know that Wednesday's are hard for her as she has her IC, so she is usually exhausted, so if she is in her room, then I will leave her be and go be with my kids.

I feel strong right now, I know I can do this. All the suggestions are floating in my head. I started to cry one time on the plane, but then just kept telling myself - think how YOU are being treated right NOW, and you are crying because... I snapped out of it. I think that is a good baby step toward detachment.

Watched the Bucket List on the plane. That actually helped as well. Lot's of messages for me on detachment and that things will be okay.

Well, I will go read some posts. Thank God for aircards and car service so I can gather my strength!

Peace,

CBK

[Ready2Change]

Hi,

Stay strong! Isn't it crazy how we keep picking the rope up! It is so hard to drop unless you are focused on it.

[CBK]

Man, you are right RTC - I was just catching up on your thread...

I am so going to drop the rope - yea, Mr. Tough Guy

My computer is telling me I am almost out of battery, so will need to change before I get home.

The funny thing is my stomach is hurting right now - what is with that. Finally getting my nerves in check? Or just that I have had little sleep?

CBK

[CBK]

Well, wasn't that special. W was up and was in the office. I came in and acted as if. She was in a grumpy mood. We talked briefly so I walked away. I went downstairs, by the time I came back up, she was in her room with the door closed.

I remember what Puppy said:

Bad = Good

Maybe she is breaking away from OM, I have no idea, nor am I going to try and guess tonight. I am bummed she is in a pissy mood. Also, my daughter is at the movies and my son is in bed already... dang.

Oh well...

Peace,

CBK

[rop]

Hi CBK,
It is true that Bad=Good. Sunday W was totally pissed with me - because I didn't call the kids while I was away (I told them I was not going to call them and to be patient I would take the Monday off and stay with them the whole day and they were fine with that)
Anyway... W was very upset, I said that if she had any problem with my arrangement with the kids she should have called me - I did have my cell with me and I was reachable. After some bickering she started crying and she hugged me, she said that she feels lonely at times..... maybe some more trouble in paradise, but I try not to care about it. I would say that as long as there is not indifference bad or good are both good.

[ernest88]

Well, wasn't that special. W was up and was in the office. I came in and acted as if. She was in a grumpy mood. We talked briefly so I walked away. I went downstairs, by the time I came back up, she was in her room with the door closed.

I remember what Puppy said:

Bad = Good

Maybe she is breaking away from OM, I have no idea, nor am I going to try and guess tonight. I am bummed she is in a pissy mood. Also, my daughter is at the movies and my son is in bed already... dang.

Oh well...

Peace,

CBK

CBK-I want to know about you...who cares about the OM?? It's time for you to focus on you and your kids. THEY(W&OM) have had enough of your focus FOR TO LONG.

Don't make me come out there man, it's a long trip and I have a lot going on here in Tennessee.

You're doing good man keep it up.

By the way, I think you need to change the title of this thread. I don't believe your drowning now, You may be swimming with sharks and treading water but your not drowning.

Progress is never drowning.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

By the way, I think you need to change the title of this thread. I don't believe your drowning now, You may be swimming with sharks and treading water but your not drowning.

Progress is never drowning.

I agree! Even though your swimming isn't as elegant as you'd like at this point, it is, nevertheless, SWIMMING, man.

Swim on, CBK!!!!

[CBK]

Thanks, I will do that next time - I almost put down drowning, but have water wings

Well this morning W was still in pissy mood - not like her. I saw her and said good morning, she barely whispered a good morning back. I was very cheery when I said it and just kept on walking. So leavin for work, W was in kitchen, I said see you and have a great day, she was really sullen, but I just left. I wanted to say, I am worried about you - but thought better about it, just walked out the door. Didn't have the pit in my stomach today as I drove to work - so that is good.

Thanks MTF - I am trying not to obsess any longer about OM - and concentrating on me. My mom and dad come into town tomorrow and going to golf with my dad and a couple of buddies on Saturday and W is going to a concert with D20, MIL, and M - that will be fun. Then a mother's day celebration at our house with my sister coming down. This will be a stressful weekend, but oh well!

CBK

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Remember, my friend: "BAD = GOOD" when it comes to waywards' moods.

You're doing great!!!

Puppy

[stella_k]

CBK,

you sound GREAT! Now we have to lock your thread ASAP to be done with the "Drowning" for good!

Keep up the good job!