Let me give you a further example from my own life :
My wife (CL) decides privately she doesn't want to live with me anymore.
1. She packs NO BAGS. 2. She tells NO ONE she's leaving. 3. She makes NO PLANS for an apartment or to live elsewhere. 4. She doesn't tell me how she feels.
This is two weeks after she had a misscarriage and we lost our baby.
Some guy meets up with her on the internet. She tells HIM she's done with our relationship..in PRIVATE...and begins an affair.
Now, if YOu were that guy, and you knew everything above, that she just miscarried, she had made no plans to leave, hand't told me she was leaving etc...would YOU think it was a SAFE time time to get involved with this woman?
Flash forward, 1.5 years later...he's STILL pursuing her on the PC, she has made NO actions to move out. She's building a GARDEN outside our home...all around it, major landscaping project. Sh'es going to marriage therapy with me..SHE's booking appointments on her OWN...and this guy is still pursuing her.
What do you think of this guy?
She told HIM she was done too...should anyone feel sorry for him if/when she breaks things off?
He's been terrorizing a private home/househod (and trashing me to her on a daily basis and asking her to move out). Harassing a troubled relationship and couple for over 1.5 years. Yes we have problems, but he's ADDING to them by hovering around. I really don't think he deserves an ounce of sympathy.
Your OM was in a similar situation, you were separated, but couples separate to get their HEAD clear, NOT to have affairs...when a couple is separated both of them are VULNERABLE and CONFUSED, they need SOLID support, not sexual predators looking for weak prey.
If this guy walked away when you went back to your husband I might feel an ounce of pity, but the fact that he's calling your home and terrorizing you and your husband long after the message is clear leaves me with nothing but contempt for him...sorry. He's just being a child and he hasn't grown up.
