Jeff- Yes, it is a drug withdraw. I wish I had never taken that drug. I will continue to be strong and have faith that wonderful things will happen in the future. That's what I hold on to.

I am letting H know the stuff I like. I am being simple when I verbalize it to him, and it is working. He seems to be doing more of it. We read some of the After the Affair book last night and did one of the exercises. It says to list the things you should try to do to regain trust, him in me that I will remain faithful to him, and the trust, too, that if we go back into our relationship that my H will address the problems and not make me regret my decision to recommit. So, he made his list and I said I'd do mine the next day since it was late.

Here is my list:

-Tell me when you feel optimistic about our future together.
-Show understanding of my need to have time alone.
-Tell me how you feel- share your intimate thoughts with me.
-Call me during the day.
-Text me little messages.
-Email me.
-Tell me when you like the way I look.
-Plan time to be alone with me.
-Tell me what upset you during the day.
-Tell me what pleased you during the day.
-Tell me when you feel I've let you down.
-Show me affection outside of the bedroom.
-Make weekend plans for us.
-Work on being more understanding of my need to take on independent projects; don't assume I'm just trying to escape you.
-Go to retrouvaille with me.
-Go on a romantic vacation with me.
-Pay attention to the things I find physically attractive in a mate and give time to those things.
-Think about sex with me and the things you want to do with/to me.
-Take me out places with your friends so that I feel the pride you have in being with me.
-Show me affection when we are out with other couples.
-Talk about our future plans together.
-Plan times away with the guys so you miss the femininity of me and can talk about me positively and with pride to them.
-Think about things you want to do with me and try to make it happen.
-Work on getting to know me, the things I like.

We are suppose to list them and both work on trying to do one or more a day. What do you think of my list?

CBK- H is not in counseling, but we are talking about whether he should go or not. We keep thinking retrovaille will help a lot. WE did get a list of counselors for us to go to if we think we should or if he thinks he should.

H4h- I think about you, Jeff, and cbk the most....yes, kind of strange how much I care about people I have never met. I met my OM on the internet and yes, the connection you can feel with someone on here is great because you are talking and they are listening with no distractions of real life. Just you and them.

As for my day today, good...mind on my H because he had the day off and I was with him all day. I guess I only really think about OM when I am alone. I take that back, I still look for his car....only because I would hate to have him see us and hurt.