Yeah, I regret having the Affair. I should have pushed harder for more counseling and pushed for a pro-marriage counselor. When it got to the point of me "crossing the line" I should have told H before that happened so that he would have known how I was feeling and how important it was for us/him to do something before I did something we both will regret.
I wish my H would have forced us to work on our marriage, yet, I did come back to him 3 years later after he pretty much detached for those 3 full years. When it got to the point of me having to "do something", I realized that I didn't want to leave my son and I didn't want to be divorced. I could never be married to my son's father, no one can replace him. So, it made me choose.
Sooooo....if you are looking to summarize......what seems to work is either making your spouse do something right away and play hard ball to make her/him see what she is choosing and hope she makes a "non-fogged out" choice or wait a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng time for her to come around on her own.
Thank you for this post, WDID.
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
