Thanks for the reply. I have come to the realisation over the past few days that, in a lot of ways, I don't think I want my H back. At least not right now, and not who he is at this moment in time. If he was to come knocking at the door tomorrow I think I would say no. How awful is that?!
He has hurt me a lot. He has been distant (on and off) since November 06, which was just a few months after our wedding when he had problems at work. Since Feb 07 he has been saying that he doesnt think he feels the same, and now he says its definitely over and he doesnt love me. He is so matter of fact when he talks about the end of our 10 year relationship, no emotion at all.
Is this the man I really want to be with for the rest of my life?? This is really hard to write because I thought he was my soul mate-he still is everything to me. But I'm not sure if I could ever let him put me through this again. He has treated me so badly over the past 18 months-not nasty or abusive, but just indifferent and distant. He has not done anything nice for me in the last 18 months-in that I include send me a nice text, cook me a dinner, tell me how much I mean to him, or take me out for a meal, etc etc. Before all this he was the complete opposite. And now he is getting friendly with Little Miss Perfect Body!
I have been nothing but supportive and loyal to him, and I think I deserve better. I really want the old version of him to come back but I don't think he will
I'll probably feel completely different in the morning, but I just wanted to journal how I'm feeling tonight.
It really is a rollercoaster!
Lea xxx
Me-26 H-27 T-10 years M-20 months First bomb-Feb 07 Second bomb-March 08
