I'd be curious to know from those of you who have been struggling with your sitch for 6 months, one year, even more . . . particularly those that look like they've ended in divorce . . . any regrets from what you've tried?
Anything you wish you'd done differently?
What seemed to have worked well, if you could have only done it better, and what seems to have backfired?
Puppy
What a great question Puppy!
The first thing I wish is that I had started DBing, GALing, etc. way earlier before the bomb which was about 6 months ago! At least a year or so earlier, but I did start the second I discovered the books (a little over 5 months ago) at least so I will try to forgive myself for that.
I would/should have asked my H to move out of the house a month or two earlier b/c the last month or 2 was esp. rough with H dating the OW and texting her when he was home (when he was in that honeymoon stage of his A).
I also should have been more firm about setting boundaries with my H sooner, not allowing him to text the OW in front of me and not allowing him to yell at me for years believe it or not. That may have been my biggest mistake allowing my H to disrespect me like that and further hurting my self-esteem too.
Positives I think which really helped are the GALing I have done like the play which helped my self-confidence. 180s were great: instead of being depressed, dependent on H, weak, and I admit not cleaning & cooking as much as I should have. So I have worked on being more independent, strong, self-confident, improved my housecleaning and cooking (well at least the frequency of my cooking as I am cooking now every night), and have become happier probably through doing all the other stuff I just listed, therapy, of course the DB board, and maybe the Prozac helped a tiny bit too!
I've just been seriously working on the LRT the last week or 2 so don't know for sure how that will go, but my H is much friendlier recently and reaching out more to me. Although one not so positive thought I've had about that is maybe he thinks b/c I am pulling back & more distant recently that I have started being OK about the divorce?
I do know that a certain someone on the board told me a lot of this& gave me much of or maybe all? of this advice which I didn't always follow but should have!!! So thanks to you Puppy and everyone else who has helped me out & given advice and/or support!!!
I can't wait to read everyone's answers to this!!! Karen
