MLC BS

[Patrick325]

I do pretty well when the kids are around. I had six girls spend the night last night..my three and three friends. That def takes my mind of everything. But as soon as I drop them off it starts all over again. Today was especially bad because I had to go to the old house and clean the pool. Just walking in that quiet abandoned house kills me...it's like you see the ghosts of all your memories floating before your eyes. Or you see a family picture amongst a pile of stuff on a dresser...I can't wait till this house is sold and we distribute our stuff....going back there is torture....and at the same time I love it...

[Patrick325]

I really wish this were all over. I am feeling very drained by it all. My W is not paying her half of the bills and we will probably lose our house and ruin our credit. My kids called me today and were at the mall with my W and the OM. They sounded like they were having fun and it hurt to talk to them. I can't handle thinking I am no longer the "only man" in their lives. It was one of the things I worried about when we first split....another fear realized....sometimes I think about just leaving and not coming back...just a fantasy...I couldn't leave my kids...but sometimes you feel like you don't matter to anyone so you could just move to South America or somewhere and just start new....my old life is gone forever

[Jay Scott]

Man, this breaks my heart and I am sorry you are going through this bro. Stay here and lean on the folks here who share your pain and the experience you find yourself in. Be strengthened knowing you are not along. Love your kids and GAL and leave your wife to her petty and selfish life. Be a bigger and better man and person. Your children are watching. DO it for your self and for them.

keep yer head up man

[graceallday]

Patrick, Let me say this and hope it gets to you heart and head, they may be spending time with this other man...and even if he was the nicest man in the world...to them he is not YOU....YOU CAN NOT BE REPLACED BY YOUR KIDS AND ESEPCIALLY IF YOU HAVE BEEN AN INVOLVED FATHER....also lik the above post they are watching you.....just love them be there for them and dont let anyone run you off.....push through this pain..you can do it....i know about losing all finanially and do whatever you can to protect yourself so you can save as much as possible, can u see a lawyer and get her ordered to pay half- i cant stress the importance of this....just make it about business treat her with kindness come her and vent

[graceallday]

patrick...also call your mortgage company let them know what is happening...i have heard amazing stories of how they are working with people and moving payments to the end of the loan etc....you can do this...get protected , love your kids..treat your wife the best you can and do one day at a time

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Habla Espanol?

Você fala o português?

Sprechen Sie Deutsches?

If your going to run at least pick a place you can communicate.

Protect yourself.

You do not have to be nice to your wife, however it is in your best interest not to be mean to her either.

Your children will always know who their father is. Have them look back at you with dignity and respect. Have them use you as the measuring stick, in a good way, for the men they date. Be honorable, firm, loving, compassionate.

OM is going to be on his best behavior with them, and throw money at them, its a trick that works in the short term. Buying their affection, do not fall for it. Be consistent. Be their dad.

The tough part to swallow. No its not you, but if they are having fun do not begrudge them it. Find ways to have fun with them on a budget.

Protect yourself from your wife's financial stupidity.

[Patrick325]

I am at that point that I don't even want to talk to my W any more. She calls me and I can't even talk to her for two seconds and I'm ready to get off the phone. She loves to bring up her "plans" all the time. I am really wondering if I want her back...I used to feel like if she came back to me I could forget everything with the OM buy now I am doubting it. I drove by the two of them yesterday on the road...they were on their way to my house to drop off something for my D14...all I could think about was that a@@hole being in my house, or even in front of it....my hatred for him consumes me...every time yo think you have it kicked it starts back up even worse.....

[Patrick325]

I talked to my W the other day and she wants to go to my 2 D's baptisms this weekend. It didn't suprise me but she also wants to attend the mass before the Baptism. That did suprise me...I just hope she isn't planning on bringing OM with her. I didn't ask her but I don't think he would come to church with us. But if she wants to attend with us it is going to be strange. I am trying not to get hopeful but it's one of the things I promised to God was to try to bring my W back to church if we can get back together. I am really hopeful it goes well but I am going to try to paly it cool. But deep down I hope it's some kind of first step....

[Patrick325]

I survived the weekend--I went to the dance recital and my wife and the OM came with his kids and my kids....the hardest part being that my D's didn't come sit with me. But who knows maybe my W told them to stay with her since it was her day. It was tough seeing him with her. None of my W's family sat with her and her mother was crying sitting behind me. It has been very tough on her too--I feel sorry for her but I can't do anything to help. The Baptism on Sunday went better. At first my W looked very upset(mad) when she came in. I asked her what was wrong and she told me that her family ignored her at the recital and that she invited all of them over to his house for cake and coffee after the Baptism and everyone had turned her down. I could tell she blames me for that. But I said sorry to hear that and left it at that. All three of my D's were aggravated and tired because they were last minute finding clothes to wear and had been arguing. But when we sat down (together) they loosened up and were smiling and laughing. I was glad that my W didn't bring the OM with her to the Baptism. My W actually shook my han during the mass. We sat next to eachother during the Baptism but she seemed a little uncomfortable (she seemed to angle her legs away from me)..But she sat next to me at the end of the aisle. During the service the preist metioned how you remember when your kids are born. And she leaned over and asked me if I could remember when the kids were born(time of day). I wasn't sure but I guessed both of the hours--she knew it to the minute. She was smiling so it was nice to see. But when the service was over she was inviting her family to go to Olive Garden..she didn't ask me (Even though I brought up the idea earlier in the week), but I figure OM would be there so I didn't say anything. On the way out to the cars she mentioned about closing out our cell phone plan since we are now under one plan.

So things haven't really changed but I did enjoy being with her at the Baptism and it went very well. The kids were great and I was very proud. So I survived the weekend. Next I have the Grad party--He'll be there but what can I do?

[Patrick325]

The kids left a little while ago. I don't know which is harder, when I drop them off or of she picks them up....I cry afterword either way but when I'm at home it happens immediately after they drive off...when I drop them off I usually wait till I get home or have a small one in the car. I feel sometimes like I am being a wimp but I can't help it and it doesn't seem to get any easier. I love my kids so much...and I still miss my wife, even after all this time....I wonder how long and what it will take to get over this.....