I do realize that This all turned around rather quickly, but I think he just needed to take the time to make sure he was ready to come and talk to me about a recommitment and be able to back it up with effort.
I have also read many success stories here and most of them say that when their S returns it is very sudden and unexpected. This is what seems to have happened with me. It took him 2 months of tough love from me (which was very scary for me to set up such boundaries with H) but it worked and it made him scared that I would'nt just wait around for him. He also did many very nice random acts of kindness for me during the two months even though we didnt see each other.
Another reason I think this may be a tru awakening this time is because I talked to his mom and she informed me that he talked in depth about our R with them for the first time in a year and a month and was remorseful about his actions.
I also feel like my H had a bit of a scare last week as one of his friends that he went golfing with the week end before last, had died last week of a drug overdose due to the dealer putting rat poisoning in cocaine and killing 5 people from our area. This kid was only an aquaintance that he met that day at golfing with his other buddies, but it was still a tragedy that shook up my H and caused him to drink very heavily the night he found out and then he drove home and didnt even realize it till the next morning. That was when he finally talked to his mom and was calling himself an idiot for his actions that night and through out the whole last year.
