I think you're handling things with an awful lot of grace. And it seems that you're feeling more powerful all the time, and taking control for your kids. Thank God for that, since no one else will do it.
I couldn't imagine introducing my young S8 to another woman at this point, let alone have him sleep on their floor. When I have my boys, it's just me and my boys. They are our priority right now. The kids need time to heal and adjust from something like this. Why is this a difficult concept for some adults to understand? I'll answer my own question with one word... "selfishness" Gawd it burns me up!
I'm sorry this is happening to your kids Lis. Your doing the right thing to protect them emotionally.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
I couldn't imagine introducing my young S8 to another woman at this point, let alone have him sleep on their floor. When I have my boys, it's just me and my boys. They are our priority right now. The kids need time to heal and adjust from something like this. Why is this a difficult concept for some adults to understand? I'll answer my own question with one word... "selfishness" Gawd it burns me up!
I'm sorry this is happening to your kids Lis. Your doing the right thing to protect them emotionally.
In the immortal words of my dumb X "the kids will be happy because I am happy." Yeah, a little selfishness!!!! @@ Sadly he never saw their unhappiness, but I held them when they cried about not spending time with daddy at daddy's house. Mine began playing house with the OW immediately while maintaining a seperate residence so as not to get caught in his lie that she was just a friend. SO he paid for a place they only went to to sleep. My kids never got an adjustment period and they never really got to forge a new relationship with the X as an independent parent. Oh well, in the long run it is his loss.
"You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf." Jon Kabat-Zinn
In these early stages of separation/divorce, kids still have the hope that Mom and Dad will reunite. It's a traumatic event in their lives just like it is for the LBS. They will eventually understand a parent's need to "date" or have a social life, but it takes time for them to get to this point of acceptance.
This should be a very gradual process, not a forced one. Certainly you shouldn't have the kids sleeping on the floor of OP this early in the game. It can destroy a child's sense of security.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
Javier stands firm in the fact that, he tells the kids that him and susan are "just friends"
He stands firm saying that he has taken his time to introduce the kids to her.
My L contacted her and she ran to Javier crying
and he said i was harrassing him and her, and all this jargin
Blech.
I am not good at this. I called Susan and left her a detailed message, I know that i should keep shut. I told her, listen, if you and javier had your lived together, and my kids had to stay there, I would be fine with it, as long as your my kids had their own space.
I was calm cool and collected, I even told her i was happy, that our children got along. I said i love that your children are so caring towards my children.
I said thank you for being kind to them too. I just will not have my children sleeping on the floor.
Javier told me it was a slumber party. THEN WHY DIDN"T everyone sleep on the floor?
(I FRIGGEN SAID THANK YOU TO THE WHORE) JESUS, i have come so far.
BUT SHITTE i am the only voice of my kids. Moises won't tell his dad that he hated sleeping on the floor
he says he is scared to tell him. SCARED.
I know that feeling shitte, i was the same way with javier.
UGH
I told Susan on the message. I know all of my children's friends, and parents. You should be no different.
It is my right, and the law, and in my divorce decree, that i know where my children are. I will see where they sleep.
Javier sent me a message, saying that Karma is right around the corner for me.
Niiiiice.
He makes it seem like I am the crazy one. damn, it, I just don't have it in me to go toe to toe with him.
So yeah, let the L's handle it, but he will just treat me like dirt now. And makes things miserable.
I hate this.
Live Simply Love Generously Care Deeply Speak Kindly Leave the rest to God
He shouldn't treat you like anything. Any communication should be in writing unless it's an emergency. He has no reason to be any part or influence of your life. Karma is right around the corner for you. We call that freedom, redemption, and smooth sailing around here.
