emotionally sep. but living together

[cat03]

she is still home and undecided, a big plus! I know this is still very hard, to be in this sitch after so many years of M when you thought things were alright. BUT, please, don't despair, don't let your desperation push her out the door, there are tons of things that can be done to help this sitch.

If she works out too why don't you go to the gym together? take a class together (weightlifting/yoga/ballroom dancing, go biking, running, etc etc), do something like that at least 1x a week, take a initiative and sign up for something you can both do. Plan a weekend out to go cannoing/skying. Go to outdoor concerts, special events in your county, if you spent most of your time eating I'm guessing you guys didnt' do much outside.

You are in this position because of a lot of things, and sometimes this kind of conflicts help a M to bond and be renewed, to change what was not working, sometimes we fall in a routine and we think all is fine when it really is not. USE this situation to make your M even better, no more crying, you have tons of hope here, she is there, she says she wants to work it out.

Find that confident person you were before you M, that man she fell in love with.

but nothing is the same after you hear i fell out of love with you or i'm not as attracted to you as i once was. right now i would need to hear her tell me she is "in love" with me before my cloud would lift. but how long will that take?

You can bemoan your fate or roll up your sleeves and decide to fight for your M. You want to wait for things to get better on her own, for her to just snap out of it before your cloud lifts, chances are, your cloud might prevent her from saying such words. You love this woman right? then fight for her, you have qualities she loved when she met you, be that person again, stop walking on eggshells and read too much into her words/actions.