How do they walk away?

[Treese]

Hello All;

I seem to be going backwards instead of forward.....I am involved in creating a senior video that includes 1500 pictures so I'm a little stressed right now on top of dealing with H....

I had talked to him last night after him knowing my son was being picked up by my aunt and then my mom was picking him up and taking him to her house...so I could get my hair done...grrrrr....H didn't even offer to get him...so I talked to him on my way home from getting my hair done and my son wanted to go to a baseball game and I told son I would call his dad to see if he could take him and son said what's the point he won't take me...when I talked to H he said just that..."I am at work, I can't take him I told him I would take him to Reds game...he need s to learn NO"....I told H I have been telling him no...he has had to go everywhere with me because I have no one to watch him..
After I picked up son he was sad and I started to tear up and told him I was doing the best I can....

I'm exhausted, I"m trying to be mom, dad and everything in between..while H swirls around in his "happy", no responsibility of a life....he lives 3 lives and is having the time of his life...

He was to be at the house at 6:45 this morning to take son to school because D15 had to be at school early...well, he called at 6:45 to say he was on his way...then I got mad....I said why are you so late, he said,"i got up and was geting ready",, I said, "it only takes 10 minutes to get here from your sisters, you didn't stay there last night did you"...and as I said it, I knew I shouldn't have...he wasn't happy...arrived at 6:55...we were late....he wanted me to leave son alone until he got there and son didn't want to stay alone....H was not happy about that either...so, bad dbing first thing in the morning....but I'm STRESSED, big time...he avoids me, doesn't say hello at the bball games, and it is embarrassing sometimes....

So, I need to learn how to not let him control how I feel...to just do what I need to do....but I need help...and he has no right to get angry with me....people at work say they are so impressed with how I don't get in his face and scream and yell...I just bite my tongue the majority of the time....it's with the help of all of you who get me through it.....

Am I totally wrong?? I did backslide....how do I get back? or do I just act like nothing happened?

Treese