It's one of those early morning/can't sleep days for me...so I thought I'd try to be a little productive!
Quote:
In any case, my Path with Heart has to be the path that puts the kids in the best possible sitch and preserves (or restores) my dignity. It is also important that they learn that it is not OK to treat others like dirt, to abandon your promises, to be a self-centered %#!&$# AND that you don't have to take it like a door mat.
I agree...and it would be nice if our WAS could see/grasp this as well. BUt clearly, in both our sitches, they don't, and as I am FINALLY starting to understand (in my own, all-too-brief moments of clarity), we are wasting precious time and energy when we feel like we have any control over that.
As you wisely said to me, our own actions and behaviors can influence the future of how our WAS react; but that's so different than being able to deliberately influence them.
If your goal really is to move forward with a D, then maybe the time has come to investigate your options more fully. I know you've said W threatened to make things 'ugly'; but aren't they getting uglier anyway?
One of the rationales for staying together 'for the kids' (which I would contend isn't always the wrong choice) would be that the family unit functions well together...I don't get the feeling that that's the case here. Is it more that you operate in two almost totally separate spheres, with only tangential interaction as it relates to your boys? Not much 'here's the SD family all together out for dinner/a movie outing/a ballgame/a trip'...maybe this is a distinction without a difference (although it's been one of my guiding principles/justifications for hanging in there for so long...) but without that part, I wonder how that does impact your kids, and what they see/feel.
I guess what I mean is you are seeming less and less sanguine with your current path (much as am I); so maybe it's time to give a look to that slightly rougher, more rocky path around the bend.
I'm rambling now...maybe I can get a little more sleep before my alarm goes off...
I'm thinking of you SD; I know how much you want to make good choices...you are a good man, full of heart and dignity.
