After 3 long years, H is home - II

[GoingForward]

Your most recent update makes me so sad. You are so smart and so wise - I've always been extremely impressed with your responses to other DBers. I'm sorry your boys are hurting and I'm sorry you're hurting, but you deserve so much better than what your H can give you.

Thank you so much, GFI. You have no idea what your kind words have done for me this evening. (((((((GFI)))))))

To clarify, that was H's own sister who said that? Lol

Yes, his sister! His very own mother says an awful lot about him as well. They love him, of course, but.....

Maybe you can try dissolving some capsules of GABA and Omega-3 in his coffee or something to calm him down and help him sleep.

The first thing he ever goes for in the morning is his Gatorade, so it'll have to do! He takes Omega-3, but I don't know what GABA is. Enlighten me please!

Sheesh. It's like he's regressed back to the beginning of the stages - he's all the way back at blaming you and everyone else and being angry and depressed.

For as long as I've known my H (over 15 years), he has always been this way. It seems everyone is to blame but him. His mother, his father (who wasn't around after he was 10), his grandparents, his sister, his friends, etc, etc. Oh, and how could I possibly forget ME!

The first time when he finally, and remorsefully, admitted how wrong he was for doing what he did and for how our family has suffered over these last few years because of the situation, I could hardly believe it. He'd always talk of how he wanted to change, but for all that time, that's all it was. Just talk. No actions until this year, and only after I told him he had to move back in or we were getting D'ed.

And he IS angry and depressed. He is always so negative. He will talk about how other people (particularly his coworkers) have such great lives and lots to show for it. Nice house, nice cars, great kids, great Rs with their Ws.....blah blah blah. He also envies how they're all in such good shape and are attractive. H used to be severely overweight, lost it all, still wants to lose more, and is appalled by his own physical appearance. He doesn't feel physically attractive, and it's because of the loose skin that remains.

I've tried to convince him otherwise with LOADS of WOA, flirting, sexy smiles and touches, but it has all been to no avail. He will say, "Stop. You only say that because you love me." I've told him he's right, I do, and his physical appearance isn't what counts in my eyes. It is what's inside - his heart and all that he has to give. Still, I get brushed aside.

And again, his weight issues were his parents' fault because they didn't teach him anything about proper nutrition. He was thin when he moved out of his mom's place... ....Damn, maybe it's my fault then - I'm the one who fed him. I used to be a tiny, petite little thing myself, but after carrying three babies... ...it shows! I could stand to lose about 15 - 20 pounds, but my appearance doesn't bother me like H's bothers him. There were times when I started to feel like he did, but I knew I didn't want to feel that way all the time, so I focused on what I did like about myself and accentuated those features. Hey, whatever works, right?!

Anyway, I can't help him if he doesn't want to be helped. He's got to help himself first. Just don't know if he'll ever want to take that first step.

Gotta put the boys to bed. I still want to post about the talk I had with my sons.

(((((((Thanks again, GFI and Michelle)))))))