Last time I looked, I didn't see any Perfect Police patroling.
There's life before the bomb.. and life afterwards. What would you be doing in this situation before the bomb? How is it different now?
If he is intent on separate lives, then this is his situation to manage. How would you treat a neighbor, acquaintance who was going through this? A few validations, a few sympathetic words? Somehow the people we were closest to are now the most remote in our dealings.
Why do you need to tell him you're waiting for him? Don't your actions say it all? What are you doing for yourself, your GAL? How are you doing on eliminating the negative for you, for him?
In my case, I was such a wreck, the online counselor had me focus on eliminating the negative for me. "What about getting rid of the negative for him?", I wailed. Her reply was that the negative was so bad, it was time from me to show him I truly got it that he was divorcing me. It's still an issue I'm having trouble accepting.
I suck at GAL. I have been trying to spend more time with friends and family, but that isn't out of the ordinary for me. Wow, your "eliminating the negative for me" is an eye opener. I think I did that today. I was going to go to the t-ball practice, but I honestly just did not want to see him. So I skipped it. He asked why, and I was pretty honest. I just said "I really don't want to see you right now." Maybe I should have made up an excuse, but I didn't have the energy for it. *shrug* Oh well. It has been an OK day emotionally. I haven't had any major breakdowns since the one this morning. I had a good day overall. I REALLY need to find something that interests me to focus on. I am hoping school will do that for me, but that doesn't start until August. I know it will be easier then because I will be super busy. School is a big 180 for me.
Now the GAL Police ARE patrolling.. and you don't want a ticket!
C'mon.. there has to be something that tweaks your interest? I keep harping about Parents Without Partners.. but at least it gets me out in a social function (I don't have to plan) with or without my children.
My rule of thumb. If someone asks me to do something, I say yes... pure and simple. Want to try fish? (I hate fish).. Why yes! How about this look? Uhhh.. Sure. (Holy crap, where did cleavage come from?) Let's let your hair grow long and change the color and cut. Alright (didn't flinch, went with the flow).
OK. I am inspired. Thanks Gypsy. I like my hair length so no change there, but I have been wanting to go blonde for a while. I'll make the appointment tomorrow. Also, before the bomb I was running alot. I love to run. After the bomb I started smoking again, and the running just fell by the wayside. I think I need to let the cigarettes go and start training for a 10K again. I have never felt better than when I had accomplished a really long run. Before the longest run I had finished was 45 minutes at an 11 minute mile. I think I can go for an hour. I'll have to pretty much start from scratch as far as my stamina goes, but I think that would be a good 180, to finish what I started. This would be one of those things that is for nobody else. I have just always enjoyed running, and I really want to start racing. How is that for a 180?
