Today was weird. Two calls from the W about kid stuff. Two more nice talks at home.
Then she tells me that the home appraiser is coming tommorrow. Everything has to be a lie and a secret with her. She could have told me before she found out I would be home at that time (I originally was not going to be home). It is so weird how she seems embarrased by these things. I am very open.
Still no D and R talks in 2.5 Weeks. Things are getting so calm and comfortable it is uncanny. My DB/DR GAL may be working w.r.t. reducing tension and making us like good friends but I see no cracks in the D armor. She seems determined and as happy as ever.
I want to have a R talk so bad. A check up, a status report, a toe in the water........ I know that it is wrong and will not help.
Detaching is hard whne the bombs are dropping. But I can see that it is my best hope to regain my self respect and ultimately my dignity.
No Posters on the thread in a while, so I will keep journaling.
