Last time I looked, I didn't see any Perfect Police patroling.
There's life before the bomb.. and life afterwards. What would you be doing in this situation before the bomb? How is it different now?
If he is intent on separate lives, then this is his situation to manage. How would you treat a neighbor, acquaintance who was going through this? A few validations, a few sympathetic words? Somehow the people we were closest to are now the most remote in our dealings.
Why do you need to tell him you're waiting for him? Don't your actions say it all? What are you doing for yourself, your GAL? How are you doing on eliminating the negative for you, for him?
In my case, I was such a wreck, the online counselor had me focus on eliminating the negative for me. "What about getting rid of the negative for him?", I wailed. Her reply was that the negative was so bad, it was time from me to show him I truly got it that he was divorcing me. It's still an issue I'm having trouble accepting.
