I'm so sorry to hear of your H's distance and uncaring toward you and your D. You asked what you can do and there are many answers, but none of them will cause your H to change his mind. He is the only one who can do that.
However, if you are done, I would recommend you continue to work on the techniques outlined in the DR/DB books. The reason I'll say this is DBing is for us, not for the ones who have chosen to leave. We are DBing to allow ourselves to become healthy and to trust who we are and to see how we can survive on our own.
All of us would rather be somewhere other than here on this site, but it is this place that gives us safety, love, and encouragement. This is the place where I discovered that I'm not alone in my troubles and that the world is filled w/ people who just need a chance to make a difference. I would encourage to stay here w/ this community as I personally have learned so much and grown as a person and a father.
As for your earlier fears of being alone, don't worry. You will find a good man who will love both you and your D for who you are. I would caution you to be patient and to not rush into a relationship of any kind. You still have wounds that are very fresh and the pain we are all feeling is still running deep. If you move too quickly into a relationship, you will be dragging the remains of your H into your new life and those troubles will eventually catch up w/ you.
The key to being alone is being patient. I'm much more comfortable w/ myself than I was before, but I still have a way to go. If you work on GALing and doing things for you, you'll discover that it does get easier w/ time. Days do seem like months right now, but the sun will rise in the morning and so will you. Allow yourself to cry and be blue, but remember, it isn't about getting knocked down that is important. The important thing is finding the strength to get back up.
I feel for you, but I know if you trust yourself and are willing to let time work, you will be ok. Winston Churchill said "If you are going through Hell, keep going." He knew what he was talking about b/c the only way to get over the pain is to go right through the pain.
Unfortunately, we can't take any shortcuts. This is the hand we have been dealt and now it is up to us to make the most of our opportunities to become better husbands, wives, fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers, lovers, and friends.
We are hear for a reason and that reason is to grow and become better.
