lwb & LO - You were the last two to visit my thread. Thanks! LO, I think of you when I think of the fact that my D4 will be spending time away from me. I wonder how I'll make it through those times. You're a strong lady.
This weekend was odd, but good. I took D4 to a birthday party on Saturday. She had a blast. H was home the whole weekend, which is almost actually harder on me. We spend time together, despite the fact that I know we're splitting. H made a good dinner on Saturday night and last night too. Last night we were standing in the kitchen. H made a comment about needing some improvements on his body. I told him he was fine. I blurted out that I wanted work on my chest. Not that I want more, just a lift. He said, oh, now that you're going to be out on the market? My eyes started to water & I had to leave the room. H noticed that I was crying. When I walked back in, H immediately said, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I looked at him and said, H, I said I'm accepting what's happening, but I never said it was easy for me. He said, I know. I'm sorry. He had this mortified look on his face like he knew that he shouldn't have said it.
I think it's time to begin the C sessions again and possibly get in for another consult for meds. I'm on meds, but the past 3 weeks have been extremely hard for me. I was bummed on Sat. thinking of my M ending. H had gone to a local horse track to watch some races & the Kentucky Derby. Despite his mostly nice behavior & actions all weekend, he did show me a bit of why I'm accepting this split. When he came home on Saturday, I asked him a simple question about the races. He snapped at me. He'd been drinking and had that typical angry look on his face. That was my reminder.
We did take D4 to the park yesterday to play. Those are the times I'll miss. Us spending the quality time together as a family. One of his 20-something friends called yesterday when we were on the way to the park. H went on and on about how he was out and about with me & D4. He talked about the 3 of us going to see his family this weekend. Now, this is the 20-something that is also friends with OW. Just odd to hear H talking in a positive way about me and D4 to that friend.
Hi Thanks for your words of wisdom. I don't know which is worse...my h who said nothing and just walked out and moved in with ow 2 weeks after leaving. He is now colder than ice and never ever got intimate or close after he walked out the door. Or your H who wants you when he feels like it but also the ow.
This is so hard to go through ...
Stay strong, you are a good person. Continue to be there for your d. Mine is so little (15 months) but knows exactly what is going on - when i look sad she gives me a kiss and gives me her pacifier!!!
Hey, girl. Once again, our H's make the same rude comments about 'moving on'. Been there, done that. You handled it fine, my friend. Any more talk of Mother's Day and your plans? What have you decided?
tal, sideswiped & lwb- Thanks so much for stopping by.
Yeah, H has said some pretty bad things before, but I think he learned on Sunday that I'm not quite ready for the jokes about after the split.
I feel a lot better today than I have in the past few weeks. H was not home last night and I think that took off a lot of pressure. He went out for dinner with a buddy of his, but who knows where he ended his night. I know it was late when he got home.
I took D4 to the park & to the store last night. We had fun together.
lwb, you asked about this weekend. I will be going with. I did make plans for Friday (during the day), so I won't be around. I'm taking D4 and we're going to visit friends I used to work with. I still keep in touch with a few of them and it's been almost 3 years since I've seen them. Whew!!...thank goodness for the weight loss!!
So, not much else going on.
Have a good evening.
SueS
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
