This continues to be the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I hear about other people's stories and think I really don't have it that bad. But, to me, my emotions are just all messed up. But, I made the choice to stay with my H and do everything to make us happy and I plan on doing that. My cheese in front of me is the retrovaille that we will go to in July. I keep thinking that I need to make it to that time, because if I do I will be ok. So, I will hold on to that. The OM is still in my thoughts...hope that it will go away soon....I figure that the OM would never take me back at this point so that helps me let him go, plus it helps me want to be with H because he loves me so much he wants me no matter what I've done. H says that he has flashbacks to what I have done with the OM...so, dealing with that...he says he just tries to forget otherwise he gets too angry....I told him that probably wasn't good...
