I know, I know...the 2nd reply on here to imply that there still may be another man...and I try to ignore but..at least it lets me vent a little. I may be blind to it all, but NOTHING has given me the feeling that there is another man involved, and I feel she has no reason to hide it if there is.
Through the years she kept her feelings to herself about the marriage and how unhappy she was with me and the direction that I had let things go. She kept quiet when the money was low and we could not do or buy the things we wanted. She kept quiet when I would criticize her every move and action.
She kept quiet, but she did not hide those feelings. I KNEW my wife was unhappy, I just did not want to see it and feel it. I knew what was making her unhappy and did nothing.
But....Through all the years and all of her hurt that I believe I caused, we had a great sex life. Through all of what has happened and with all that we are going through now, we still have a deep soulful connection and I believe that is why she is still here. The sex(although, at times alcohol enhanced, nothing new for us) the last few weeks has been amazing (her words), as it always has been. She is and will never be a cheater. I know her too well and when she tells me that is not what this is all about, I believe her. As a matter of fact, she knows it would make it easier for me to give up, and if she really wanted it over with quickly she would just tell me. My wife truly has a good heart and that is why she put up with me all these years. She did not want to HURT ME....can you imagine that???
She may have said she is 100% sure that she wants to end the marriage, but she is still here with me. There is nothing keeping her here and nothing is stopping her from telling me she wants me out.
She is watching the changes. She is being cautious. I know she doesn't believe it's for real.
I have done this to her before and she knows it. If it is too late, I have no one to blame but myself. If she can hang in there, I know I can this time, too. These changes are for me AND for her. I have been a miserable unhappy ahole for quite a few years. It is time to start enjoying life. MY dream would be for her to stay around and enjoy it with me.
So please, thanks for chiming in. That is why I am here, but the comments about another man will just fall on deaf ears.
