for better,for worse,for (what)ever

[seekpeaceofmind]

((evie))) - I'm glad you can relate to what I say. It really helps to feel understood and also to know that others have the same responses to things.

Actually, I contacted the realtor yesterday and have an appointment for tomorrow to talk about getting the house on the market. I notified H and he said he will be there. In some ways I really want to move, if I can find the right place, b/c I think my life will be easier if I am closer to work. However, I HATE the process of moving and under the circumstances it is more stressful.

One of the things I was thinking about this morning is that my adjustment is hard in part b/c I'm really not that happy about other parts of my life - there isn't much to offset the sadness of a failed M and, to be honest, the solitariness of being single. I don't enjoy my job - but I'm not likely to find another one for a while, so I need to adjust my attitude and focus on the good in it. At least I don't actively hate coming to work anymore. I have been doing the GAL things like looking into volunteering w/ hospice, walking with a friend at lunchtime, getting more involved with my church and spirituality, etc. It's not adding up to fulfillment, but maybe in time it will. It's not like I was looking to M for fulfillment - just that it made life nicer . . . usually. But, I was looking for more out of life before this all happened - just lazy about doing anything about it.