Why do I continue to do this??? What kind of sick, twisted dumb#ss am i to not be able to turn away from looking at H's words to OW? Am i some kind of masochist? I ALREADY KNOW that they are seeing/contacting each other more than ever, that H sounds totally besotted with OW... why am i compelled to confirm it on an almost daily basis???
I tell myself to stop looking, so turn away, to assume the status quo...and then I find myself hours later looking "just one more time..." What do I think I will find??? It's like opening the refrigerator door multiple times, looking for different food to show up in there (when I haven't been to the store)
Magical thinking....wish I'd never seen H's new password (when i wasn't even snooping at the time...) makes it that much harder to follow this path; makes me start to question why I'm even doing this... and then i feel like such a weak-willed idiot for this whole darn thing.
