But I disagree that he's taking steps towards me. It's within his comfort zone to do things like that. Lately he sometimes calls after watching a show he knows I'm watching (like Boston Legal) and we'll laugh about scenes then make small talk for a few minutes before hanging up. This is as far as he will ever go, catfan.
Amy you once told me, chided me actually, that we first have to be friends again and I shouldn't get upset with little behaviors like this. Sure part of DBing is to be strong and one way is to not engage in idle chit chat. But that's only if you are LRTing. Accept these little nuggets from time to time but not always. I will always accept them and appreciate them catfan. They really are the manifestation of my faith. Just slightly different than I'd wished for. But the fact we are even friends...I see that for the absolute miracle that it already is. You have to appear to be having your own life and not waiting with baited breath. I'm not up for appearances. It is what it is. I am moving forward and I am NO LONGER waiting around with bated breath. Sorry, no, you must have your own life!
Sure this behavior is in his comfort zone. You have to let him get comfortable so he'll begin take down the walls he's built. It has been 2 1/2 years since I began this walk. He has had ample time, ample opportunities. I have been patient, I have cultivated this friendship. He says he loves me. I know in many ways I have earned back his trust. Yet he refuses to GO any further than this. I accept that. I can't change him so I'm changing my course. I will never leave him by himself. I will always be there as long as he will let me. This is breaking my heart but I am at a point where I have to save myself and I have to do it while I am strong. I can't wait til I'm about to self-destruct again. I will not let that happen. Remember he has to do that and all you can do is accept it on his terms. But by at least showing some interest back by accepting these nuggets from time to time you are helping him get more comfortable so he can dismantle the wall.
You know it's going to take time, so the question is how much more time are you willing to give it? I believe I have answered that question. I am no longer actively DBing.
